A Day in the Park!

Today was our last day together (RJ and I) before I go back to work. On Monday, Amber will begin her "Nanny in training" (right, like I really know what I'm doing!) for a week and then I will "officially" return to work on Monday, May 19th. Because of this, my upcoming 1st Mother's Day and RJ's upcoming Dedication to Christ at church this Sunday . . . today was a very emotional day for me with lots of ups and downs.

RJ and I had a wonderful day. He was a fantastic, happy baby all day which was nice. I decided during his morning nap that since today was our last "official" day together on maternity leave, then we needed to do something a little extra special. So, we decided to go have lunch in the park and then a little relaxation on the beach of Lake Havasu. It was just perfect! I hope I will be able to meet RJ and Amber at the park often to repeat such a nice outing! I only wish I had discovered it sooner.

But, boy oh boy how many millions of things I wish I would have done while on maternity leave that I never got the chance to do. There were many things I thought I'd do and didn't. I guess this morning I was having some regrets, but I came to realize that this is probably a very common feeling amongst new mothers as they return to work . . . the "would have, could have syndrom." I truly thought I'd take my new baby to the park at least several times a week. I truly believed I would lay out in the sun every day and get the perfect tan. I truly believed I could do all of this along with my very long "to do list" of items around the house, along with keeping up with many work items and completing several tax returns for members of our church! The fact is though . . . I'm no super Mommy and I don't think I want to be. Being a mother is much more difficult than I ever anticipated. BUT, it hit me all of a sudden today in the park as I was flipping the jogging stroller apart with one hand and holding RJ with the other and man handling the car seat like a pro! I think I may finally have this mother "stuff" under control. But, unfortunately it's only in time to return to work. I will certainly miss my little fella and all our wonderful times together, but know that Amber will be a terrific addition to his life and I'll meet them as many days as possible for lunch! I guess in the end today, what I realized is that I think I'm ready to go back to work, but I've really enjoyed every moment of my maternity leave and getting to know my very special little boy!